Whether it’s 3 dates or 3 years it can be especially hard to deal with a partner ending a relationship when things were going fairly well. Perhaps you were even getting along great but ultimately your partner realized that they were just looking for something different.

The unexpected nature of things ending on a good note is challenging. Even more challenging is when that person and relationship gets to stay in this elevated state. As they remain on a bit of a pedestal in your thoughts you may not have the benefit of running through your mind and gathering all these examples of how difficult a person they were. The whole “I’ll be better off with out them,” or “They didn’t meet my needs anyways” approach doesn’t work so well.

Yet there WAS something that made this relationship less than a perfect match. Something that made you incompatible with one another. Otherwise your ex would not have ended it. They may or may not have disclosed what that was or perhaps they gave some generic explanation for why they ended things. Regardless, it’s important to remind yourself that there was something about them and their needs or preferences that would have come up at some point and disappointed you. They just pulled the plug before you got to experience that for yourself. Think of other relationships you’ve had that did end poorly. Most of them weren’t awful from the start. They were good, even great…and then they weren’t. Something changed. Since this relationship ended chances are that would have happened eventually.