I know he seems special. You have those perfect memory moments you play over and over in your mind. He seemed so into you. You had such hope in that moment. I get that you want that. You’re no longer getting validation from him and playing those memories over and over in your mind soothes you. You want proof that it was real, that he thought you were special too. That there was a connection. Because if there wasn’t then that would mean you can’t trust yourself at all. And certainly not men.

It's my belief that we are a special and flawed. But relationship grief can exacerbate how we elevate people we want and can’t be with. He’s human. He’s a person on this earth you connected with and now you don’t. You want to, I get it. But that door is closed and you need to accept that. That feeling that was felt between you is beautiful. But guess what? It’s not his! It’s this feeling that came out of you that perceived him in a way and you were the one who had the ability to be open to it. If you’ve had a few relationships you’ll see that that feeling has happened with more than just him. Yeah yeah I know THIS was different. Maybe sure. But also it’s amplified. Bring him down a notch. He’s a flawed human that didn’t meet your needs. Lovely as he may be. He’s not that special. If you think of positive memories of him over and over again and see his smile, his face of course you’re going to keep thinking about how great he is. I call this RELATIONSHIP DYSMORPHIA. Stair at something and it grows.